Ugh.
Out of the amazing 28 eggs that they retrieved, only 14 were mature.
The moment I heard this, my heart sank.
Only 50% of my eggs were usable. A really bad rate of maturity for us, as we've always had about 80% maturity in the past.
I had a sinking feeling, we might have triggered a day too early, but how was I supposed to know. I just listened to what the experts told me and silenced those nagging voices in my head.
The good news is the 11 of the 14 eggs they injected, fertilized - which is a really good rate for us. The embryologist did a great job with what he had to work with.
And comparing this to our last cycles, we are still ahead, just barely, but we are. Our first cycle we had 17 eggs retreived, 13 mature, 7 fertilized, and our second cycle we had 18 eggs retreived, 15 mature, and 10 fertilize.
Our embryologist, John, ended up using PICSI, and had a good number of sperm bind to the hyaluron. This means that Dave had a good rate of mature sperm. Next they looked at those sperm under high mag to sort out the many morphologically degenerate sperm in order to choose the best of the bunch -- and he noted that there were a lot of really bad ones to find the good. Next they did ICSI to inject our eggs, and he said that process went very well, and they didn't need to use the laser.
He still anticipates a 5 day transfer based on the fact that we have 11 embryos growing in the lab, but we will get another call on Sunday morning to let us know how everything is going, and whether we need to come in right away for a day 3 transfer.
It's all out of our hands now. I have to try to remember that. I must try to get over my disappointment and focus on the reality. We have 11 embryos. 11 chances. No more, no less. And there is nothing I can do to help our embryos grow at this point.
Dave keeps reminding me that this is good, always the optimist. But I can't help but shake this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm trying, but it's hard.
For now we are just clinging to hope that the CCRM lab is magic for us, and that we will finally have a day 5 blastocyst to transfer.
But for now, it's wait and see...
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10 comments:
It's good! It's good! Go with it and embrace it! Good luck!
You've done all you can. It is out of your hands and in God's hands now. Trust and let's hope for the best. Good luck sweetie!
Lisa- that is really a great report. Don't worry so much about why things went a certain way or even consider second guessing when you were told to trigger, etc. You have 11 beautiful embies growing in the lab!!! Relax, it is in God's hands (oh, and the very experienced lab techs!!!). Also - don't panic if you end up doing a 3 day (I did- bawled my eyes out) it isn't always a bad thing!
Hi, I found you from another blog site.
I just had to say that with 28 eggs, a 50% fertilization rate is very, very normal and expected. It's the mature # that fertilized that should make you proud. That's still a lot of eggs to lay your hope on. Good luck these next couple of days.
Don't be so down, especially since you have 11 embies counting on you to stay strong. That number is still within your estimated number of embryos. So take it and run with it. You did great! I'm looking forward to hearing about your day 3 fert report.
11 embryos is great! Try to shake the pit, man.
I get the disappointment, I was hoping for a lot more too. But 11 is still a great number - many women would kill for more than 5 eggs retrieved, let alone ... mature or fertilized, etc. (Sorry, not trying to minimize your fear but really I think it's a very doable number!!)
Hi Lisa-
I think the REALLY big and happy news here is the fact that they were able to screen the sperm so carefully. As a 3 IVF vet with SRM, also with poor embryo quality issues, I think that's the magic bullet (haha!) here that will make the difference. I am about to start cycle #4 with SRM and I had a long call with the embryologist to ask about sperm evaluation, partly because your blog. It sounds like you just much more detailed help with the sperm at CCRM than you get at SRM. Many clinics can do analysis on egg quality but it seems that the difference is being about to make some quality calls with the sperm as well.
There is real reason to hope here, Lisa, and not just because you want to have hope. There's science backing you up here.
Please keep posting and let us all know what is happening. It's probably pathetic to care about someone's life that you've never met but I feel and share your anxiety so acutely. A win for you is a win for all of us.
Go get one for the team!
Annie in Seattle
I am so sorry you are feeling disappointed. Sending you a big hug!
I have everything crossed that the lab will work their magic and you will have beautiful blasts to work with!!!
I am very interested in PICSI - off to Dr. Google :)
GL, GL, GL!!!
Thanks girls! i will try to hold onto the hope. I was just disappointed. I wanted a higher mature rate for more fertilized embies. Because with me, things start to go pretty badly around day 3 -- when they all die off. So I do know that 11 is good, but I really wanted more so that we had more chance, and hopefully some good one's left standing at transfer.
Lisa dear. I know you are nervous. If I had your numbers, I'd be over the moon. That kicks the pants off anything I've ever had. But that doesn't mean you aren't still nervous. But here's the thing. It is outside your control now. Your body did the best it could. Maybe this will help.
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
I wish you double lines in the very near future!
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