Monday, September 7, 2009

A Brand New Day

Today is the one year anniversary of the day I started this blog about our struggles with infertility.

I started it to document our final try with IVF as we headed to Denver to give it one last shot with the legendary CCRM. And now, one year later, it's with overwhelming gratitute and joy, that I share these two pictures....

Here I am one year ago in front of the CCRM fertility clinic, with nothing but fear and hope in my heart.

And here I am just a few weeks ago in front of Evergreen hospital, where we delivered a healthy baby boy, with everything I've ever wanted.
After 4 years of infertility treatments, we never thought this day would come. Yet here it is. Our miracle baby. Our little embryo that could. Proof that yes, it really does only take one. Proof that yes, even at our lowest of lows, there is always hope.

It was my birthday, two weeks after our tiny miracle was born. And it hit me, all at once -- sitting in pajama's, sleep deprived and still a little delirious -- as Dave brought me out a cake with a candle, that I had absolutely nothing to wish for. I have everything I've ever wanted. And I broke down in tears. Tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of fatigue, and strength, and helplessness, and hope and fear and faith -- all rolled into one. We are finally here. We did it. Our son Cooper is really here, and I have indeed finally completed my journey from a dark lonely place of infertility to a new one of joy and hope and dreams. My flaming birthday candle was proof of this, and the reality of what we've been through, what we had to endure, and what we finally overcame, was more emotion that I could stand. How many birthdays had I wished for this. How many candles had I blown out over the years with the same wish, over and over and over. And now, here I was, celebrating a new year, with a new son in my arms. It was a moment I wasn't prepared for as I looked at that candle and remembered the lump in my throat as I blew it out last year.

And now, here I was with nothing to wish for.

Imagine that.

It's over. And not only did we survive, but we got the happiest ending of all.

I'm not much of a Celine Dion fan, but as we celebrated my birthday the song "A New Day Has Come" played. And as I listened to the words, I felt this song could have been written for me. For the moment our son was born, it truly was a brand new day. A new chapter in our lives has finally begun. It's time to say goodbye to the old and hello to the new. It's time to smile. It's time to say thank you. It's time to be grateful. It's time to pray and hope and dream. It's time for happiness. It's time for laughter. It's time for life.

So that night, I held my son and my husband, as we danced together through tears of joy to this song. And we cried.

Our miracle has finally come.
Cooper Peter James Waite, was born on August 17th after 61 hours of labor. He weighed in at 6 pounds, 13 ounces -- and is a perfect healthy baby boy. For more about Cooper, our birth story, and our new journey, check out Cooper's blog:

And for all those who struggle with infertility, hold on to hope and never give up. For when the world says: "Give up," Hope whispers: "Try it one more time."

And in the end, no matter what form it takes -- hope always wins.