Monday, September 7, 2009

A Brand New Day

Today is the one year anniversary of the day I started this blog about our struggles with infertility.

I started it to document our final try with IVF as we headed to Denver to give it one last shot with the legendary CCRM. And now, one year later, it's with overwhelming gratitute and joy, that I share these two pictures....

Here I am one year ago in front of the CCRM fertility clinic, with nothing but fear and hope in my heart.

And here I am just a few weeks ago in front of Evergreen hospital, where we delivered a healthy baby boy, with everything I've ever wanted.
After 4 years of infertility treatments, we never thought this day would come. Yet here it is. Our miracle baby. Our little embryo that could. Proof that yes, it really does only take one. Proof that yes, even at our lowest of lows, there is always hope.

It was my birthday, two weeks after our tiny miracle was born. And it hit me, all at once -- sitting in pajama's, sleep deprived and still a little delirious -- as Dave brought me out a cake with a candle, that I had absolutely nothing to wish for. I have everything I've ever wanted. And I broke down in tears. Tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of fatigue, and strength, and helplessness, and hope and fear and faith -- all rolled into one. We are finally here. We did it. Our son Cooper is really here, and I have indeed finally completed my journey from a dark lonely place of infertility to a new one of joy and hope and dreams. My flaming birthday candle was proof of this, and the reality of what we've been through, what we had to endure, and what we finally overcame, was more emotion that I could stand. How many birthdays had I wished for this. How many candles had I blown out over the years with the same wish, over and over and over. And now, here I was, celebrating a new year, with a new son in my arms. It was a moment I wasn't prepared for as I looked at that candle and remembered the lump in my throat as I blew it out last year.

And now, here I was with nothing to wish for.

Imagine that.

It's over. And not only did we survive, but we got the happiest ending of all.

I'm not much of a Celine Dion fan, but as we celebrated my birthday the song "A New Day Has Come" played. And as I listened to the words, I felt this song could have been written for me. For the moment our son was born, it truly was a brand new day. A new chapter in our lives has finally begun. It's time to say goodbye to the old and hello to the new. It's time to smile. It's time to say thank you. It's time to be grateful. It's time to pray and hope and dream. It's time for happiness. It's time for laughter. It's time for life.

So that night, I held my son and my husband, as we danced together through tears of joy to this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eg9jQOebTo8 And we cried.

Our miracle has finally come.
Cooper Peter James Waite, was born on August 17th after 61 hours of labor. He weighed in at 6 pounds, 13 ounces -- and is a perfect healthy baby boy. For more about Cooper, our birth story, and our new journey, check out Cooper's blog: http://cooperwaite.blogspot.com

And for all those who struggle with infertility, hold on to hope and never give up. For when the world says: "Give up," Hope whispers: "Try it one more time."

And in the end, no matter what form it takes -- hope always wins.

13 comments:

Kris said...

Congratulations, Lisa! What a long road it has been with a happy ending. Little baby Cooper and I share the same birthday. May you always have this much bliss and happiness in your life!

Lisa said...

Oh Lisa, from a fellow CCRM vet, congratulations!! Natalie turns 4 months Sunday and I've often thought of you as your birth approached, so happy you too can share in this miracle of motherhood. I am so, so glad that you have your happy ending/beginning. Having Natalie is by far the best thing to ever happen to us. Enjoy your miracle!

Nikki said...

Lisa - CONGRATULATIONS!!! I read Cooper's entire blog, and cried reading about your birthday celebration and the lobster dinner and the candle on the cake. Oh and Cooper looks like you (at least from your baby pictures!)

Thank you so much for your loving comment on my post. I totally agree with everything you said. I'm going to post an update soon. We've been talking to a few agencies and are going to sign up with one soon. And then we plan to figure out what next to do. Lets see - hopefully this journey will be easier than the TTC journey.

Happy one month birthday to baby Cooper (one day in advance). God Bless!

Anonymous said...

your blog has given me some hope to continue to try again. all your emotions you went through before, holidays, baby showers, birthdays - are the same emotions i have...
our first ivf failed due to a miscarriage. congrats to you and i hope to enjoy motherhood someday!

Anonymous said...

Dear Lisa,I have been reading your blog and I feel so happy for you for the birth of your beautiul baby boy- what a wonderful blessing!I did a google search on your name and tried to contact you on facebook, as I am getting ready to start the process with CCRM and I have so many questions to ask. Would it be possible for me to email you or call you? I belive we share so much common, as I am also a writer, and I am starting a blog about my infertility struggle. My email is risa@livedreamthrive.com and I would love to hear from you. I would like to ask you a bunch of questions about CCRM, for example, my phone consult is scheduled on 10/6 with Dr. surrey, but I notice you put your faith in Dr. Schoolcraft, however his wait for a phone consult was several months- do you think Surrey is equally competant? Also, I am so scared about failing at the diagnostics, and being dismissed from the IVF protocol, as I have already been through this trauma in my local clinic, and it promopted me to begin a national search, leading me thankfully to CCRM and your blog! Please, if you could spare a few minutes, I would love to communicate. Thanks! Risa

Kate said...

You make a beautiful family - congratulations! I can't believe you looked that skinny and wonderful leaving the hospital. Or maybe your DH is really good at picking a flattering angle? :)
Enjoy your son!

Jessica said...

I wish I had found this blog sooner! I will read past posts, as my husband & I are embarkin gon our first IVF treatment at CCRM this month. Congratulations to you and and your husband for your miracle!

Sue said...

I heard you re-started blogging and had to come out and check in! How beautiful! I am so unbelievably happy for you and your family. Cooper is beautiful!

Linda said...

I got your message. Sorry it's taken me this long to write back. Do you have an email address I can write you? Or are you on facebook?

My email is
linda dot lin dot martin at gmail dot com.

Looking forward to catching up with you!

musicmakermomma said...

Lisa, so glad you left the last 2 posts, I just ran across them and I'm so happy for you and your family! Cooper is lovely. Glad things finally worked out for you!

Anonymous said...

Lisa, I am so glad I popped in and saw your birth post, I didn't know your little one had arrived! Congrats!
You give me a lot of hope (I am 1ow today from our FET and going strong!)!
~LGB

Anniep said...

I'm just now getting back to my blogs... this post made me cry! CONGRATULATIONS on your happily ever after!!!!!!!! *sniff, sniff*

sue said...

congratulations! i just stumbled upon your blog while doing a search for "schoolcraft ivf colorado" and am so happy i did! i've had 3 failed ivf's (last one ended in a m/c @ 5wks) and my RE referred us to CCRM/Schoolcraft. My consult is on the 19th of Nov and reading through your blog has provided me with a bit of comfort, sadness (at your trying times and how relatable the IVF story is), and joy at your wonderful happy ending, Congrats again! Thanks for documenting your story so eloquently, completely, and honestly. now i know about the possibility of maturing immature eggs in the lab (very useful!) and what to expect when and if i get the greenlight from CCRM (i'll be traveling from texas up to denver). I wish you the very best of luck moving forward and wnat to convey my gratitude for 'putting yourself out there' for us all to learn from and get to know.