Wednesday, September 24, 2008

IVF: A Full Time Job

TTC is one of the most stressful and exhausting jobs in the world!

I know what some of you are thinking -- how could a little thing like trying to have a baby be so exhausting? It's fun, isn't it?! Well. It's supposed to be. In theory. And for many lucky women out there it is. But for the rest of us, trying to conceive is one of the most excruciating jobs we will ever have. Forget a fun romp in the hay -- that went out the window a long time ago. For us, it's all about a grueling schedule that never ends. It keeps going and going and going... but we don't have the stamina of the energizer bunny. And so every month, every cycle, our batteries die just a little bit more.

Some days just amaze me. There is so much to be done. So much to organize, so much to fit in, so much to coordinate and schedule! Trying to conceive has completely taken over our lives, and not in a good way. It's a wonder that anybody going through this process can ever get anything else done! If it's not peeing on sticks, it's driving to the clinic. If it's not sitting in a waiting room, it's going to the pharmacy. If it's not taking medication, it's listening to relaxation or IVF hypnosis tapes. If it's not doing yoga, it's making sure to get in a 5 mile walk. If it's not doing caster oil packs, it's getting a Mayan abdominal massage. If it's not getting reflexology, it's scheduling acupuncture. If it's not corresponding with my nurse, it's searching the internet for advice. If it's not traipsing to 3 different grocery stores and health food stores to get all the right foods and supplements, it's charting dates, mixing medications, and making a calendar to make sure we haven't forgotten anything.....

It's no wonder we're exhausted -- trying to have a baby is a full time job! And worse than a demanding career, you put in hours upon hours, evenings, weekends, and holidays -- and see no results. And worse than the demanding job of raising children -- there is no rewarding hug at the end of the day. No, not this job. It's exhausting, thankless, and you don't get paid. It's a complete and utter waste of time and money and energy. It consumes your every waking thought, robs you of a social life, and saps all the fun in life.

And it's such a demanding job, I actually feel like I need an assistant! Who knows, maybe it will be my new calling when this is all over. I will become a personal assistant to other tired and exhausted women going through IVF. And why not?! Women with children have nannies and daycare providers. Pregnant women have birthing coaches, midwives and doulas. Surely, we infertiles deserve a little help too!

Well, if you hate it so much why don't you just quit?

I knew you were going to say that.

We do it for the same reason that interns fetch coffee for unappreciative bosses. We do it for the risk that one day the job will pay off. We do it for the hope that one day our efforts will be rewarded. That one day we will look back and be able to say that it was all worth it. But until that day comes, it's back to the ol' baby-making grind.

One egg after the other...


Nikki said...

Yep - full time job that not only doesn't pay, instead it empties our banks!! Yet we slog at it on the hope that one day, it will all be worth it!

janell said...

I think an IVF personal assistant would be great. Someone to collect the meds, draw up the needles and give you virtually painless injections. I would love having a blood draw/US coach. That person could also fight with the insurance companies as well. Great post.