Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Dear God

I know we haven't exactly been on speaking terms.

I know I've stopped praying, and believing, and asking for your help. I know I've given up on you, thought that you abandoned me, and cursed the fact that I ever beleived in you.

I've put my fate in your hands, I've prayed, I've believed, I've bargained, I've begged, and I've promised that I would do anything, I promised to be a better person, to spend my entire life making it up to you, if only you would grant us a baby. And when you denied me, time after time, I slowly stopped asking, believing, and praying. I lost hope. I lost faith. I lost you.

But now I'm back. And I'm asking, one last time, please dear god, please be there for me tomorrow for a successful surgery. Watch over my eggs, as they are taken from my body to a safe place to be fertilized. Stay with them, and help them fertilize, grow, and divide. Help them grow into strong beautiful embryos, and viable healthy blastocysts.

Please dear god, please, watch over our embryos and protect them. Give them strength and courage to grow. Let them know that they are loved and wanted and that we are waiting for them. Let them know that they have parents who promise to love them forever, and we are waiting with open arms for them to come home to us.

Amen.

12 comments:

Nikki said...

I'm praying for you tonight too. Hugs to you. Good luck tomorrow.

trish said...

Wishing you a successful day tomorrow Lisa and Dave. I too, shall say a prayer! T

Anniep said...

Such a heartfelt post. I'll be pulling for ya tomorrow during the ER.

mom said...

My wonderful daughter
Your dad and I have not stopped praying for you and Dave -you have done everything you could do-now let go and put it in Gods hands. Try and get a good sleep tonight ,tomorrow is a new day and wonderful things can happen.BELIEVE
You make the world a better place just by being you. Love always mom and dad

,

Linda said...

How blessed you are to have a loving husband and supportive parents. Prayers going up for you...

Anonymous said...

Although I have been closely following your incredible journey, I have never posted a comment.

I will think of you and David tomorrow morning @9am!! You are so close to the finish line. So hang in there! Best of luck

Anonymous said...

Sending prayers your way, too. Peace.

Anonymous said...

You are at the bet clinic in the country, probably the world.


Trust.

Relax.

Breathe.

Take care of each other.

Katrina said...

Even though you get a barrage of emails from me every day....I thought I'd say it here too!
I'm thinking of you! SO proud of you! LOVE you!

Emily said...

Beautiful post!

GL! I will be thinking about you!

Anonymous said...

I will say a prayer for you tonight as well.

Reading your blog takes me back there, right there. IVF can be very, very hard. I have been lucky in IVF lottery, and still, reading your blog reminds me of all the anxiety, uncertainty and frustration.

It really stinks and you are doing a great job. I hope things go well tomorrow.

John Elmslie said...

This was very touching!

I'm reading this Thursday so I know your good news. Congratulations! Bill and I are so happy for you!

love, Uncle John