Friday, November 14, 2008

On Pins and Needles

I couldn't sleep all night.

I tossed and turned and wondered.

You see, the magic happens in the lab.

Ironic isn't it? This miracle called life, that is supposed to happen in the woman's uterus -- an intimate process between a man and woman, where nature creates it's most precious miracle -- actually happens in a sterile lab with petri dishes, solutions, and a team of skilled embryologists who literally play God.

Our embryologist's name is John.

Right now, the fate of our future child is in the hands of a man named John. So last night I offered up a DEAR JOHN prayer, because, hey, he might not be God, but he's pretty close to the real thing to me.

The lab process of IVF lasts anywhere from 0-6 days. And we are on pins and needles for every single one of them.

We sit, we wait, we wonder.

How many will fertilize? Divide? Grow?

How many will we lose today?

We're hopeful but we're realistic. We've been here before. We know the drill. Our embryos just aren't good growers, and they have always slowed and arrested in the dish by day 5, never, not once, making a healhty blastocyst.

We are hoping for the best, but can't help preparing for the worst. We know each day our chances will be whittled down. We know the averages, how they work, and what we can hopefully expect. But I can't help playing the 'numbers game'.

If we have 28 eggs, our best case senario would be:
*About a 80% maturity rate (22 eggs)
*Between 50-80% of those fertilize and become embryos (11 - 18 embryos)
*About 50% of those make it to day 3 transfer (5-9 strong embryos)
*About 50% of those make it to day 5 transfer (2 -5 strong embryos)

But how will it really play out? And does CCRM have the magic lab we've heard so much about? Will this time be different? Will we actually have the chance to transfer a strong healthy embryo that hatches and implants?

God (I mean John), I hope so.


DAVs said...

Hey, 2-5 strong growing blastocysts sound like heaven to me! Numbers are on your side with so many eggs to start with, I hope you get a good report. I know waiting for the fert report is agonizing, my hands were shaking so bad when the phone rang I could barely answer it! GOOD LUCK!!!

Nikki said...

The culture the embryos grow in makes a huge difference, and like you said, CCRM's lab and it's culture are world famous. Sending growth vibes to your embryos - grow grow grow!

Good luck Lisa - I can imagine the pins and needles you're on! When will they call?

Linda said...

I totally know how you feel. I'm sittin' here waiting for our embryologist to call, too. John was my embryologist my last cycle at CCRM - he's great! This time around, our embryologist is Kristy, but I've had another lady (I forget her name) call me with the day 5 report. I think everyone who works in the lab knows their stuff! I hope you get your miracle! :)